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POEMS

Shine Your Light I Sexual Enlightenment

These poems written by Gretchen Blycker are offered as an exploration of various human experiences and convey expressions of inner emotions, sexual feelings, and relational dynamics that our verbal codes and contexts of language are often insufficient to capture with accuracy. The poems are informed by the collective stories of over 1,000 people, including students and clients who have shared their celebrations, struggles, pain, and healing journeys with Gretchen. 

​The themes explored include: sexual enlightenment, cultural enlightenment, healing from sexual harm, problematic sexual behaviors, and mindful connected communication in relationships. Throughout the poems, feel free to click on the hyperlinked words to access peer-reviewed research and other resources that explore the content themes. 

Another suggestion, if you choose to read or listen to selected audio versions of these poems, is that you do so while mindfully observing what arises in you as you take in the information. 
​
  • Be curious about your reactions.
  • What resonates, what doesn’t?
  • If you could change parts of the words, messages, perspectives, dynamics, metaphors, etc. to be more in alignment with you, how and what would you change?  
  • What is familiar or foreign?
  • Are there any memories or images that are evoked for you? Are there any new or different perceptions or perspectives that you identify?
  • Can you practice imagining yourself in any of the masculine/feminine perspectives from which the different voices in the poems speak?
  • Please feel free to change the gender of the pronouns; the intention is not to be heteronormative or gender-limiting, but inclusive and honoring of individual differences.
  • ​Process information from your inner world through art, music, movement, journaling, storytelling...use your voice to express your poetry.

Sexual Enlightenment

​An Awakened Aphrodite
Poem about the enlightened expression of the feminine, anima, yin, or dakini tantric practitioner.
An Awakened Aphrodite 
Brings wisdom to the wild 
Sacred to the sexy 
Dharma to all drama
 
An Awakened Aphrodite knows 
Nirvana and ecstasy
And is not beguiled by the trappings of 
Delusion, illusion, or fantasy
 
An Awakened Aphrodite does not use sexuality to exploit another
Sexual expression is informed by compassion and is free of manipulation
Sexuality is offered as a gift to be shared 
Not as a commodity to be paid for, sold…or taken 
 
An Awakened Aphrodite honors her own and 
Others’ boundaries and commitments 
She doesn't tease, push, or play in ways that may create harm
She is honest
She has a purity of light and heart that informs her playful wildness 
 
She is generous 
She delights in the shining of other goddesses
She is not poisoned by the spirit of competition or comparison
She does not take from others
 
An Awakened Aphrodite allows the erotic
To move through her
She radiates love
She speaks truth from her heart
 
She directs light to choice and freedom 
For the out of control or enslaved 
She demands a safe and loving play space
And presence is the key to access the garden of pleasure
 
She is intimately familiar with the landscape of her body
Yet, she continues her discovery of pathways of pleasure 
Again and again and again 
With each new experience
 
She finds bliss in the dance of giving and receiving 
She is masculine and feminine   
She is power and grace
An Awakened Aphrodite is Love
​
~Gretchen Blycker​

​
Picture
Coast near the Sanctuary of Aphrodite, Paphos, Cyprus. Photo by Marc Potenza
​An Awakened Adonis
Poem about the enlightened expression of the masculine, animus, yang, or daka tantric practitioner.
An Awakened Adonis
Draws deep from within
His purpose fueled vision 
That serves not only him
 
He’s devoted and focused 
Uniting the powers of both his
Beautiful body and mind 
To serve his most loving desires
 
He knows how to surrender
The armor he wears
As he lets another in
He’s not ruled by his fears 
 
An Awakened Adonis
Consults his heart’s knowing 
Assures safety before acting 
And leaves another glowing
 
His eroticism is love-minded
And his touch is like magic
That both melts and arouses
Pure pleasure- (nothing tragic…!)
 
His desire is not unbridled
Nor uncoupled from his heart
But is focused, free, and flowing
Through all his sentient parts 
 
His outgoing energy penetrates deeply inside
Reaching the place where Holy presides
He finds peace in his pleasure 
And a love here together
 
An Awakened Adonis
Knows true courage
Comes not from defending
But instead from truth telling 
 
An Awakened Adonis 
Can be gentle, can be strong
Can be EVERYTHING…
No emotion is rendered to be wrong 
 
An Awakened Adonis 
Derives delight in connection
In the flow of the give and receive 
When he ceases his chase, and opens instead
He finds this is where joy is conceived 

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Statue in the garden at Chateau de Versailles, France. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
THE LIGHT WITHIN THIS HOME
 Poem about mind/body/spirit connection and practicing skillful mindful connected sex.​​
One of my favorite things about this physical world
Is this body I own
I continue to learn and practice how to live within 
In order to care for my sacred human home.
 
My body is my temporary house-
A vehicle, and interactive communicator 
My body is rich with information and sensation,
Which requires direct in-the-moment interpretation
 
My body keeps me grounded, present, and engaged 
With all that is happening NOW 
Although-(admittedly), it’s also quite easy for
My mind to wander and allow…
 
My thoughts to travel to an imagined future…
Or return back to a troublesome past…!
Thoughts can run WILD, which is precisely why,
I return my focus to feeling my body, which is steadfast
 
My experiences include my body and mind,
Although they also transcend them too
I learn much by feeling into all of me,
And extend my awareness to feel into you anew
 
From this expansive place of presence
We each sense the light within
I can see and feel your warmth illuminating
From the central core of your being 
 
You know not to mistake my body
For the totality of me
You see and feel my light within 
And somehow this allows us to be free
 
In our together exploration 
of pleasurable connection
When you learn to see the light within
I feel safe to welcome you in

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Petra Tou Rominou, Beach of Aphrodite, Paphos, Cyprus. Photo by Marc Potenza
THIS MEETING PLACE
Poem about tantric sexual meditation practice.
Lover, take my hand 
Walk with me
To the edges of this land
Towards the erotic sea
 
Where we are made of energy
Of yours, of mine
And all a part of a connection that is
Love Divine 
 
This brings us deeper 
Into a warm rushing flow 
That travels through me
And into you as I let go  
 
You bring your lips to mine
And I welcome you in 
As you blanket 
Your love around me 
 
Feel and listen to how 
Our bodies press and talk...
Slide and glide…  
From caressing on the surface to
Going deep, deep inside…
 
Where we find a river
To dive right in
As we travel in this flow
That we feel when we both let go
 
I find my way to dive into you 
And open to you diving into me too
I am deeply grateful for this meeting place
That is at the interface 
Of where heaven meets earth below

​~Gretchen Blycker


​
Picture
(Xwejni Bay, Gozo) Photo by Gretchen Blycker
INNER SANCTUM
Poem about a lifetime journey of exploration and learning through the inherent suffering natural to human experiences, choosing a path of meditation and mindfulness, and discovery of spiritual realms through sacred sexuality.
My inner sanctum
Took me years to discover
Because it required me to recover 
And heal my abandoned 
And wounded parts
 
In my journey of healing and wholeness
I traveled through the mazes of my mind 
Puzzled at times about which path to take
That would lead me to the light
And not, to my True-Self forsake
 
Chose a couple of 
Dead end routes
And learned much 
Along the way…
 
My journey took me places where
I could collect many life lessons 
From which I extracted knowledge
Regarding things that I did not learn about in college
 
This became wisdom  
Imprinted on my soul
And year by year 
Allowed myself to grow
 
I survived through the 
Long Dark Night 
And made my way to the 
Land of the midnight sun
 
I meditated step by step through
A labyrinth whose path 
Would lead me to this goal…
To the inner sanctum and 
Home for my soul
​

 
You have traveled 
Your own unique path that 
Brought you here to
A gift that we both share- 
Our soul-filled love affair
 
Now we give each other maps
To the routes that take us
Here to the antechamber
Of love’s sacred door
 
To enter into the inner sanctum 
Where we connect through 
Sacred and love inspired sex
 
Energy circles through me 
And back into you…
In this inner sanctum, we share love’s grace 
That exists beyond time and space

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Hagar Qim, megalithic temple from 3500 BC, Malta. Photo by Rene Rossignaud
ANCIENT MEMORY
Poem about sacred sexuality, the ego’s self-preserving mission of control, and the wisdom from mystery schools throughout the ages. 
​

Have you heard the persistent whisperings
Arising from echoes of ancient memory?
They came through to me as a melodic cacophony
As I was held in buoyancy in the Dead Sea
 
We have been imprinted to link 
The sacred with our sexuality, 
Though it’s quite easy to get confused and tangled up
With our urges and cravings from neurobiology
 
Our egos can take our physical bodies 
For a neurochemical joy ride
Producing a sexually seductive natural high
 
Yet~ Without our connection to the Divine
We lose our light filled way
 
Here is a time-honored truth:
Grasping onto a spark of perceived  joy
And treating others as if they are a toy
Will only create a pathway to eventual pain 
 
This ethereal light cannot be captured
Stolen, devoured, or owned
Try as one may - 
It will only lead to distortion
And not to equanimity in any kind of way 
 
No one can hypnotize, mesmerize, tantalize, 
Or connive their way to the heavens
That will never be the way
 
The way is a sacred path, 
A love lit path, 
A gentle path
That opens to the far reaches of the universe
 
Surrender this egoic grasp 
For power and control
And you will see that you are a wave
In the oceanic seas of humanity 
 
A part of the WHOLE
An expression of the DIVINE
Our small mind is limited 
And our divine mind is EVERYTHING
Know the difference and open to this mystery 
Of freedom found in ancient memory

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Fertility objects and aniconic stone at the Sanctuary of Aphrodite Palaepafos, Pathos, Cyprus. Photos by Marc Potenza and Gretchen Blycker
Primordial mother
I experienced a primal wound 
And in a state of child-like powerlessness
I lifted my bow and selected my arrow
From the quiver of heart-hurting pain
 
The poison I placed on the tip 
Morphed from hurt into hate 
From a confused state 
Of abandonment and fear 
 
I found that if I projected my anger
At the source of my pain
I would access energy to deal 
With the perceived enemy 
And the perpetrator of chaos in 
My nine-year old brain
 
He infiltrated the sacred boundaries 
Of the circle of love that I knew
And stole from the family crown 
Our one and only Mother jewel 
 
As she was praying 🙏
He was preying 👀🏹
And laying out a plan 
Of deceit, deception and 
The abuse of trust 
From our entire clan
 
Gaslighting occurred 
As he planted the seeds 
For her to distrust herself- 
Those around her and 
To only make gospel his word
 
He saw her radiant light 
And he wanted to possess it
He experienced her magical touch 
And he became quite drunk off it
He felt her loving nurturing spirit
And he sought to corral it 
To serve only his self-centered motives
That would flare up in anger 
If she would dare to share 
Her abundant loving nature with others
 
She was possessed 
And the chains of her entrapment 
Were not visible to most others
 
The bonds of her enslavement 
Were not the kind that you see 
They’re the kind that causes slight insanity
And a misrepresentation of clear reality
 
It happens in a syndrome 
That is named after Stockholm
And in various contorted entanglements
That confuse one’s inner worth
By attaching it to their captor’s mirth
As they see their enslaver as their savior
 
Now the story has played out 
And the Mother jewel he flew away with 
Has ended her time on this earth
 
May She be free, 
May She be free
To radiate as sparkling light divine 
Unencumbered by life’s confusing 
Mazes and storms which created an illusion
That only appeared to dim Love’s Eternal Shine
 
Some sort of spell-like confusion 
Seems to be lifting… 
The clearing of the fog is revealing…
That the primal abandonment wound 
I have attached to my story 
Is not one that began after she left
 
The origin of the separation myth
Happened in a confused time
Somewhere dark and deep in the human mind 
 
There is ultimate unity that transcends 
The ego-centrality of the limited
Human brain’s perceptions and memory 
That inform this false belief 
Of separateness and duality 
Which is the source of much pain here on earth 
 
Spiritual cosmology 
Supports non-duality
And living with awareness 
Of the inherent divinity that sparks 
Our radiant life-force energy 
And connects us all to the 
Primordial Mother Totality
 
This awareness may help heal 
My fractured mind and ever searching soul
With the orientation that I am already whole
 
I can now loosen my grasp on this distorted goal
That I need something outside of me 
That would fill a “missing-mother-hole”  
 
We have never been disconnected 
From the Primordial Mother Source Divine 
 
Seeds of forgiveness are planted 
And grow from my heart as I let go 
And allow past quivers of hurt and pain 
To be healed, soothed, 
And softened, to regain an 
Awareness of the vast expanse of
Cosmic Mother’s Love
 
That sparks the dance
Of all that is manifest
From which we can learn to see and 
Draw from to support us in 
Awakening from this ego-minded trance
 
As for the perceived enemy
And thief of the Mother jewel?
I have no judgment of him to rule 
And I respect the operating laws of 
Dharma and karma as 
I choose to let go of my inner drama 
 
Acknowledging this truth 
And practicing forgiveness   
Doesn’t negate the impact of this 
Early-life wounding attachment-trauma 
 
It does however offer the salve 
Of the healing truth of Unity
That includes and transcends 
Our mind/body/spirit totality
With diamond-like indestructible wisdom  
That cuts through the illusion 
And misperception that we
Exist as completely separate entities 
 
The eternal truth in this matter 
Is that we are all connected 
Beyond the physical 
To our mater, the universal source
Our shared Primordial Mother

​~Gretchen Blycker 
Picture
View from Hagar Qim, megalithic temple from 3500 BC, overlooking Filfla Island, Malta. Photo by Marc Potenza
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Summer Solstice Chamber with Oracle Hole at Hagar Qim, a megalithic temple from 3500 BC, Malta. Photo by Marc Potenza

Cultural Enlightenment

THINGS IM TOLD
Poem about pornography informed sexual scripts and learnings from ancient practices of tantric sexual yoga and meditation.
I’m told wanting 
Generous doses of 
Love with my sex
Makes me vanilla 
And boring
And not so adventurous
 
I’m told not to worry
About violence creeping 
And crawling through online scenes 
As it spreads and sows its seeds 
Transforming our glorious sexuality 
 
I’m told I’m too sensitive
And I don’t understand 
What men
Long to see-
Though it doesn’t seem to matter 
What it might do to me
  
I’m told my mind is way too narrow
And sterilizing-ly clean
If I bring my lens to what some deem
“Exciting sex”
And to me- it’s honestly obscene
And makes my body cringe and close
In response to the imagery seen on the screen
 

I’m told I’m SO Victorian 
And an uptight outright prude
If my eyes open wide 
When I see things that 
Make me want to hide-
And not eat from fruit
Grown from seeds of 
Disrespect and rape 
That are populating our 
Most intimate landscape


I’m told that my pleasure 
Is not that important
That my role has better things in store 
 
I’m told that others’ wants
Trump my symphony of desires  
So instead, I’m given a score
And am rated on a scale
Of how well I do
At making myself something
That is pleasurable to you
 
In my lifetime 
I’ve done a lot of listening
So now, allow me to tell you
Something from a 
Source of divine sexual awakening
 
From this ancient and wise source, I’m told; 
That Love is a powerful force
And if we water our seeds of 
Sexual desire with love-
Pleasure, health, mutual care and
Respect spring forth
 
I’m told when we tend 
Our gardens this way 
We bring shared ecstasy and
Unending pleasures to our play
Because it turns out, that
Love is what surges within
As waves of pure bliss 
Roll through my body 
With each loving kiss
 
I’m told that there is 
Endless knowledge and mystery
That went underground
For periods of our His-story
 
I’m told if we make 
Our sexual world safe
We will wake up
To a knowing
That keeps ALL of us glowing
 
I’m told we are free 
To explore the Mystery 
As awakened beings
Bringing love 
To our sexuality

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Hathor and Seti from Egypt circa 1550 BCE, Louvre Museum, Paris, France. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
AGAIN, WE RISE
Poem about scapegoating as a strategy throughout history for silencing and terrorizing others into submission.
​
The hot waves of fear
Shake me to my core
Creating a trembling which
Reaches into the intricate
Threadlike fibers of my being
 
My insides flip and change 
In response to the outside
Where kind, soft, warm eyes
Now ice over, recoil 
And see me 
As the new ENEMY
 
I’m being burned and blamed
A lightning rod for others’
Anger, fear, and pain

They scapegoat and shame

Yet the phoenix energy persists
And again, we rise from the ashes

​~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Mary Magdalene, by Gregor Erhart 1502 CE, Louvre Museum, Paris, France. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
SITTING IN JUDGEMENT
Poem about how women’s judgement of themselves and each other contributes to cultural, intrapersonal, and interpersonal problems.
​
She says she has dirt on me- 
That she’d be excited to share
Though she may not realize 
That others might not really care
 
Please feel free to send along 
This message when next you see her:
 
I’m happy to share more
Piles of dirt on me 
So, she can spread it around 
To anyone she might see
 
If that’s what lights her up…
It’s not really a bother to me
 
I usually use the dirt I create
And put it in a big compost pile
For it to sit out in the sun and marinate… 
 
Then I work with the rich earthy elements
To transform them into 
Learning from life’s many lessons 
 
I spread this gold-like soil around
My gardens-
From which glorious growth abounds
 
I’m happy to share my dirt with her
Though I’m not sure if her spreading it around
Might produce the same beautiful ground?
 
Perhaps she could try to repurpose her own
And tend to her garden if she cares
To step away from her throne?

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Hangzhou, China. Photo by Marc Potenza
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Feilai Feng Grottoes, Hangzhou, China. Photo by Marc Potenza
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Art from Wraldemarsudde, Prince Eugen’s home on Djurgarden, Stockholm, Sweden. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
SOUL-FILLED HUMAN BEINGS
 Poem about the felt and lived experiences of boundary violations enabled by objectification culture.
I don't want to be “attractive”
Is that at all surprising?
To understand me, just recall a 
Felt sense of fear in you arising 
 
How does your body show you
When your boundary has been crossed?
Does your skin crawl?
Does your heart pound?
Do you feel safe here at all?
 
There were many years before this that 
The world seemed much more friendly
I felt more open and had trust in people aplenty
However, as I grew…
I noticed some eyes took on an altered view
 
Some eyes seem to scan
Up and down over parts of me
Although their eyes follow
Over the contours they see
I never feel they realize the Whole of me
 
What at first seems like a blessing 
Then turns out to be a curse
When the blessing becomes like a
Bulls eye targeting you for the potential worst
 
This is the kind of attention that
Alerts you to know that you are prey
The hungry gaze might be used to intimidate 
And is possibly a preamble to violate
 
It seems that eyes that wander 
From a place of bottomless hunger 
Are blind to boundaries
And might not know love or peace
 
I fear if I let my happiness show
There may be some who interpret this glow
And friendliness as an invitation to dinner, 
Specifically- an open door to DINE ON ME
 
NO, I don't want to be “attractive” 
And attract the likes of that.
So, from a place deep within
An inner voice screams, “No!”
 
I don't want to be “attractive” 
And be misunderstood 
That my looks or my light 
Are an invitation 
Rolling out the red carpet 
For your private delight
 
Don't feast those eyes on me 
I'm not for others’ consumption 
I am a soul-filled human being
 
Don’t reduce or confuse me 
With pixelated images seen on a screen
I’m a soul-filled human being

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Byron's sea cave, Porto Venere, Italy. Photo by Marc Potenza
SORRY, NOT SORRY- TIME'S UP
Poem about cultural mores throughout history, how image-based obsessions lead to disconnection, gender-based harassment and violence, and how we are awakening a collective consciousness as evidenced through Me Too, Time’s Up and more.
​
I’d like to bring up a topic that 
Might trigger some sensations
That often get a bad name
And show up inside as 
Discomfort, guilt or shame…
 
The topic here is SEX
And the cultural mores
Regarding what we are being shown
That we should expect to be part of
Everyone’s hand in this sexual game
 
I hear some people talk about their “body count”
And how this dating scene is like a “field of war” 
Where people fill themselves with others “likes”
And numbers of “followers” as a way of keeping score
 
Somehow sex is being equated with 
Watching online what others have done
In another place and time…
I wonder if this obsession with the kind of sex people see
Is rendering us blind to our sexual totality 
 
When you separate your sexual focus
Apart from your wise empathic heart
In order to feed your curious mind
Without a care from the shared place
We all grow from at the start
 
Things can be diverted 
To places you might not 
Even intend to ever go
But then- there you are and 
Bit by bit, those places
Become normalized- and new
And exciting- all at the same time
 
I wonder if you are aware there is another way?
Although it would require keeping some old habits at bay… 
And working on learning how to
Expand and open your mind 
To ancient practices and learnings
From another place and time
 
Are you open to expanding your beliefs? 
And loosening your grip on some habits? 
To allow space for a new experience of sexual states and status?
 
If so, I’ll share with you some secrets
And practices of skill and wisdom from the erotic arts
You will learn to navigate desire from an enlightened place
And you’ll discover that this impacts you and the world around you
In profoundly positive and lasting ways
 
Listen up- here is some truth:
You hold in your grasp 
A mighty powerful tool
That can be conditioned 
And nurtured to love and heal
Or can be trained to be 
Un-empathic, selfish, and cruel
 
You have choices, 
Therefore, you have consequences to bear
When you choose to stay asleep 
And not wake up to care
 
If you’re responding to this message 
With a defensive roll of your eyes, 
You just may be filtering this info
Through veils of denial and distortion inside
That conveniently enable your lifelong practices and views
So- sorry, not sorry, if discomfort arises in you
 
Being awake to inner discomfort is a necessity
Why you ask?
 
Because, 
We cannot create a safe world for All 
If some stay comfortably numb
While others continue to fall 
To their knees 
In deep isolating pain 
So ultimately, it is a choice to allow
Our open empathic soft heart
To ache with another’s hurt and bane 
 
There is a collective consciousness that is rising 
Shining the light for us all to see 
This information seems to be causing 
Swells and surges in our sea of humanity
That are rocking our boats and 
Contributing to feelings of uneasy instability
 
Our deep dark ocean is merely bringing 
To the surface things that for millennia
Have been choking the healthy life 
Of our shared human sexuality
If now things feel quite Stormy, 
Perhaps this is to capture our attention
 
So, sorry, not sorry, that the state of SEX
Is brought up in our worry
Awry for millennia 
Time’s Up to correct the imbalances
And to redistribute power in fair and equal ways
 
We all benefit by checking in with our whole selves
And assessing our feelings, beliefs, and behaviors
About the sexual world we all share
The pathway to working together to solve 
These World-Wide sexual problems  
Is to promote respect, care, inner sanctity
And personal sexual sovereignty. 
 
We don’t have the luxury of maintaining 
Ignorance or a comfortable state of denial
We will all ultimately be responsible 
For how successfully we address these
World-Wide problems
Which will determine our fate
Sorry, not sorry- time’s up

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Palace of Versailles, Paris, France. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
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Parma, Italy. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
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Isla Mujeres, Mexico. Photo by Marc Potenza
Laid Bare
Poem about the cultural shaping of sexual roles and how, ultimately, objectified bodies are devalued and voyeuristic eyes are given power and are monetized by industry.   
Positive messaging
Might contribute to a 
​Subversive under-the-radar-route
 
Where the encouragement  of 
Sexual exhibitionism is being 
Touted as a shortcut to fame
 
But is actually being used 
In a sleight of hand game 
From a magician’s bag of
Tricks to expose us instead
 
That has us choosing 
To drop our clothes
Bare our souls
And then think to ourselves that we
Are the ones who are in control-
How might we change this around 
So we are not the ones 
To be played like clowns?
 
As those who are seen 
As having a job to entertain
The masses 
Who give themselves
The job 
Of rating…
Our asses… 
Laid back in their chairs 
Basking in the glow of their screens
 
Voyeuristic eyes are being commodified
As our inner-worth is being modified
Is this really sexuality glorified?

​~Gretchen Blycker 
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Museo del Bozzetti, Pietrasanta, Italy. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
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Obscuration of fear
Poem about tactics that some use to gain power over others and how awakening to non-dualism can create inner freedom.   
Evoking fear
Can act like a prison

It’s a wily manipulative power play 
For those who want others to only 
See things their own singular way
 
Intimidation is an attempt to lay 
Out the invisible barbed wire 
To keep others below and at bay
 
An attempt to prevent
Connection to their
own

True authentic power
That would slay
Right through the illusion 
Of this gendered role play 

~Gretchen Blycker 
​


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Budapest, Hungary. Photo by Marc Potenza

Healing From Sexual Harm

VOICES AND CHOICES
Poem about how messaging to young girls may create vulnerabilities to abuse and boundary violations and how harm may be repaired with inner-child work,  updating cultural messaging towards health and body autonomy can help heal. 
​
I was taught to be nice
Then I learned how to fight
When these didn’t work 
My body took over and took flight
 
These are the lessons I learned as a girl
Early in my life
At first, my bark would precede my bite
But I was told instead that 
Girls should use their ‘sweet inside voices’
This seemed to limit my choices
And rendered me powerless
To the gag tied around my mouth
 
Do you know what it is like 
To have to pretend to be nice 
To the person who abuses power over you?
 
Hoping this will coax him 
To change his mind and show him
That it would be so kind 
If he wouldn’t mind-
To please loosen his rope
That carries out his vice
Around your wrists and your ankles?
 
NO- learn another way to respond him
Niceties are NOT what you owe to him
Culturally we need to hear and see
The truth telling voices describing how he 
Is part of an outdated harmful system 

That allows some to achieve their goals
By using their strength and their power
To intimidate and silence other’s souls 
 
Our world will be healthy, balanced and whole
When we all embody living in harmonious equality
With an enlightened understanding of bodily autonomy

~Gretchen Blycker

​
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Seven year-old playing Amazon warrior // Sea Caves, Ayia Napa, Cyprus
RADIANT SPIRIT RECOVERY
Poem about the unjust and impossible choices for survivors of sexual assault between experiencing victim blaming/slut shaming or soul dwindling silence, and how we need new pathways of support and positive changes.
​
Let’s explore the question of 
Why sexual assault survivors often don’t speak up…?
 
First- imagine yourself as the one 
Emerging from a trauma
Where you had no voice or choice
And only want to move forward
Without any kind of drama
 
Rather- you seek safer ground
And healing and peace is 
What you want found
 
As you are reeling in shock 
Staring at this fork in the road
You see two pathways before you…
 
The path of speaking up
Leads you to encounter
People who don’t believe you
And forever seek to shame you 
 
They call you a liar 
And put you on trial 
Say you wear slutty clothes 
And actually- are the one causing 
Problems with all your lusty desire
 
The other pathway you see
Provides an escape to the deep
Searing pain of unjust victim blame
 
This path seems to shield from the harm
Of post-trauma attack, from those 
Who would meet you in your most vulnerable 
State by stabbing you right in the back
 
This pathway requires that you stay silent
Because if you say anything about your pain
The information gets sent on a runaway train
That is powered by others’ whispers and voices
And not managed by any of your inner feelings or choices 
 
So, in seeking to heal profound boundary violations
The choice you have to try to regain some control
Is to bury the trauma somewhere deep in your soul
 
Each day by day, 
The path of swallowing your pain
Seems to help you crawl towards some solid terrain
Of promise that helps you to regain 
Inner agency needed to get you back on your feet again 
 
The cost of this short-sighted 
Self-preserving coping strategy
Is that it starts to dwindle down 
Your radiant spirit and life-force energy 
 
These changes may be slow to grow
And may go unnoticed by others until…
Obvious evidence of problems that people see
Are not even attributed to the original 
Breach of your boundaries
 
What they see instead is: 
Your depressed and anxious mood…
Your problematic relationship with food…
Your poor performance at school or work…
Or perhaps in your relationships, 
You’re told you’re behaving like a jerk…
 
Looking at these two possible outcomes 
It’s no wonder people might not choose to 
Bare their vulnerable souls 
To report, share or disclose
 
Neither path is a way to healing 
We need new pathways for our loved ones 
Who have experienced boundary violations
 
Shaming them 
Blaming them 
Or making them invisible 
All serve to enable and 
Perpetuate this cultural problem
 
We need to envelope our survivors with love, 
I believe you. How can I care for you?
What do you need to have your inner experience 
Witnessed and addressed with the utmost 
tenderness, care and respect?

Together we can create 
A whole new paradigm 
That is rooted in love and safety for our
Mind-body radiant-spirit recovery

~Gretchen Blycker

​
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Hokokuji Bamboo Garden, Kamakura, Japan. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
HEALING CONNECTION
 Poem about the impact of sexual trauma, path of survivorship, healing, and wholeness.
​
How can 15 minutes of terror
Seem to affect my life forever?
The power I feel was taken from me
Seems elusive and mysterious 
As to where it can be?
 
Does somebody else possess it?
Can it be found?
How can that trauma still affect me now
So, that there are still times I don’t 
Feel safe and sound?
I feel that I have gotten somewhat lost  
And perhaps a bit confused 
About what I need to feel safe and self-assured 
That I will not again be overpowered
Against my own word
 
I feel something has changed inside of me
Based on what he did to me…? How could that be?
 
Determined to free myself of this victim role
I begin on a path of reconnection with myself as a goal
And through my own mindfulness-based therapy
I become more clear and learn to see 
 
That the source of the derailment that happened
Originated as a profound boundary violation
Which caused a leak in my field of energy 
That I need to be the one to repair 
With self-love, respect, and daily tender care
 
It is a false belief and would be in vain
If I sought to find my power in another to regain
Something I mistakenly believed to be missing in me 
Like Dorothy, what I set outside to find
I had inside me the whole entire time : )

~Gretchen Blycker


Picture
Aphrodite, Cyprus Museum, Nicosia. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
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Aphrodite 1st century BCE, Cyprus Museum Nicosia. Photo by Gretchen Blycker

Problematic Sexual Behaviors 

HER BODY IS MY STIMULANT
Poem about problematic pornography use and sexual objectification.
Her body is my stimulant
That I use for my own arousal.
I pick and choose from the types and forms
That are sure to boost a strong revival.
 
I like how all those bodies curve
In such seductive ways.
I feel excitement looking at figures
And I chase more to ride the waves.
 
A smile spreads across my face
When my eyes devour that sexiness.
I want to see what lies beneath
And play underneath that dress. 
 
I look for sexy nakedness 
To see parts displayed for me. 
With so many ladies I feel like a king
Whose harem is special for me.
 
I binge on as many naked parts 
As it takes to get me off.
When I finish the high quickly fades. 
To the idea there is more, I just scoff.
 
I don’t see her as a whole sentient being,
Never mind as a sister or a mother.
To me she fulfills a purpose
And then when she doesn’t, I look for another.
 
It’s so helpful not to know or care
What she might be experiencing
(a troublesome distraction to me),
In the depths of her being.
 
When I need a surge and I’m underwhelmed
By the contents of which I see,
I go back to my favorites of what has been filmed,
My “old faithfuls”, waiting for me.
 
Those bodies are my stimulants 
I privately like to consume.
I just don’t let myself ever see
How alone I am in this room. 

~Gretchen Blycker​

​
Picture
Statue in the garden at Chateau de Versailles, France. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
GUEST LIST
Poem about longing to feel sexually connected with a partner in a romantic relationship who focuses instead on sexual fantasy.​
I noticed I’m not on 
Your guest list
Of who you entertain
In the erotic theater 
Happening in your head 
 
Is it because I’m not a performer?
That I don’t play pretend?
That I want real connection instead?
 
I wonder if you… 
Hear me? See me? Feel me?
I’m just 10 feet away 
Over here on this bed…

~Gretchen Blycker
Picture
VAPID EYE
 Poem about being consumed by digital sexual imagery that creates a disconnection within oneself and with a partner.
This vapid eye gaze
For some, is quite the
Habitual look these days
 
Electronically hypnotized
During periodic moments 
Caught by mesmerizing displays
 
It’s a kind of zombie 
Look of being in a haze
Of not really here…
 
Consumed by a chase 
Of experiences that will offer a 
Rapid high towards release 
 
All this transfixion outside 
Creates cloudy vision- 
A kind of blind third eye 
 
I wonder if you will
Awaken or learn 
To see more clearly?
 
Your eyes appear open 
But you don’t really see me… 
Your body is here with me…
 
Though your mind is 
Far away in fantasy 
Enjoying your own orgy reverie

~Gretchen Blycker  

​
Picture
Buddha, National Palace Museum, Taipei, Taiwan. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
CONFUSION
Poem about the harms of integrating abuse, shame, and humiliation fantasies with sexual arousal templates. 
​
It’s hot in your head 
But harmful and illegal
If you bring this fantasy
Into your body and bed.
Perhaps an advisory warning 
Might help confusion prevention?

WARNING:
Confusion may arise if you masturbate to:
Women being raped or used 
Children being sexually abused
Or things you’d be horrified to see on the news

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Portion of Giotto’s fresco, 1305 CE, Scrovegni Chapel, Padua, Italy. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
PUPPET OR MASTER
 Poem about pornography induced erectile functioning problems and the choice to awaken authentic sexuality and sexual empathy.

I’m not sure how I became 
Disconnected from my own true power 
And from being the compassionate 
Master of myself and my own domain
 
Let me share with you my story
Of how I experienced a change
With what started seemingly benign 
Then began to infiltrate my mind…
In ways that shaped my sexuality 
And informed what I believed I liked 
Bit by bit, from the inside of me
 
My body functioned so well sexually
From my daily doses of feel good treasure
Of enjoying the visual treats of eye candy 
And viewing exciting scenes at my own leisure 
 
It took me a while to notice the changes
Of how my private habits of viewing pleasure
Began to uncouple the connection within
My embodied sexuality in great measure…
 
Because my online experiences included an orgasmic high
I didn’t feel a motivation to bid my porn consumption goodbye
Until I began to notice how these strengthening pathways 
Started to take over my body in unwelcome and surprising ways
 
Let’s just say, it was hard to give up-
Until I realized I wouldn’t get hard…
When I wanted to get down 
With my partner- and this flipped my 
Sense of sexual self-esteem quickly up-side-down…
 
Now, I’m motivated to be more curious
And stop to look for a bigger view 
By wondering how this affects my soul
And the ways I manage to
Keep myself whole?
 
It just might be that I’m 
Compartmentalizing myself
And keeping my porn beliefs
Tucked away on a shelf
So they don’t interfere
With my regular day
And how I want myself and others
To see me in a certain way
 
Now that I’m shining this light… 
The thing that gives me 
The biggest fright
Is the question as to how
I am impacted if I allow
Myself to be convinced 
Of this common porn view:
 
That the women shown in porn
Truly like to be adorned
With ejaculate all over their faces
While they are stripped of 
Their inherent Feminine Graces?
 
What happens to my mind
When my sexuality hides
Behind a veil of denial
That protects me from
Guilt or shame that I feel
From getting off by seeing
Another’s humiliation and pain?
 
That is enough…I’m slowing down now
To clear all this clutter in my mind 
In order to discover what is authentically me
I’m detangling what was planted there
From what I’ve seen in pornography 
And what I feel, sense and see
Inside of me that resonates with my totality
 
By sensing my inherent aliveness, inner drive
And my personal flow of energy 
I am connecting with my own source of vitality
In this process, I have begun to free
Myself from being a puppet
Of the online porn industry

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Nataraja, the Lord of Dance, whose purpose is to release the souls of men from the snare of illusion. Chola dynasty India, 12th Century CE. Tamil Nadu. At the National Museum, New Delhi, India. Photo by Marc Potenza

Mindful Connecting Communication

LOVE'S HEALING grace
Poem about communication dynamics in relationships, misunderstanding a partner’s post traumatic reactivity, learning about traumatic arousal, and creating safety and connection through empathy and love. (*note: please feel free to change pronouns)
​
Let’s just call [her/him/them] “crazy”
Why is she so upset??
She cries, she pleads…
She attacks, I concede.
 
I don’t know why this is?!
I try and figure her out.
I do my best and yet,
Her perpetual past is what I get.
What this has to do with me,
For the life of me I cannot see.
 
Women are so emotional...
I just don’t understand 
The things that come from her mouth…?
It’s not easy being a man.
How awesome would it be 
If she were calm and 
Reasonable…. like me?
 
Let me be clear-
I want the care,
The affection,
The attention,
And the Love…
Without the messiness
And complications
Of this confusing Crazi-ness!
 
Why does her past hurt
Impact ME and us now?
Hmm, this has got me thinking,
Why I prefer them young,
Before all this messy damage 
Has already happened and been done. 
 
I wonder what it would be like 
If we could travel back in time
And stop the harm, the hurt, the pain…
To prevent it from becoming her bane,
And what gets in the way 
Of her joy… and mine.
 
Maybe what at first I perceive as Crazy,
Is simply her call to me…?
To stop. Pay attention. 
Listen with love…
So I can hear, feel, see… to understand
What happened to her way back then?
 
When her Fear comes though
It clouds the Love that’s here.
Things between us get chilly
And I feel she places blame on me.
If I stay open and keep space between us warm
I remain grounded in what I know now,
And practice being a safe shelter in this storm.
 
When I do, I can be present. 
I ask her to tell me everything.
Tell me your story.
Tell me your pain.
Tell me what happened
And together we will make sure 
That it doesn’t again. 
 
Maybe what I perceive as “Crazy” (or angry, or fearful?)
Is what is unhealed from the past?
 
So now, when “crazy” shows up,
I meet her with Love
And something quite magical happens…
When presence, love and safety 
Are what “crazy” meets at the door
Who emerges is someone who is soft,
Gentle and kind- not “crazy” anymore.
 
I see her vulnerability 
And her beautiful radiant spirit.
She is fragile, she is strong.
She is a warrior singing her war song,
That she believed would protect her,
Though it ultimately acts to isolate her.  
 
Let’s not call her crazy.
What she needs is understanding. 
Not my defensive posture,
Or anyone’s strong manhandling. 
She and I make an agreement
That we each lay our weapons down.
Let us be clear about what was done then
And what is happening now. 
 
I reach for her hand from this clear, calm, safe place
And I listen wholeheartedly to her.
She softens and opens, then listens to me.
This completely changes how we see each other. 
The goal here is love and not saving face. 
It is in these quiet defenseless moments
That we are visited by Love’s healing Grace.
 
Here we find freedom, my lover and I,
From the hurt and harm of the past.
Connection now happens and love wins instead.
Understanding yields trust which leads to connection:
The foundation for safety, playfulness and joy. 
When we create this, we let go of our fear.
And allow Love to inform our choices.
 
Without understanding there is little hope, 
For ignorance and denial 
Are the fertile and enabling seeds for harm,
That perpetuate the cycle of pain.
When I lack understanding 
Of her and she of me,
We ride the roller coaster of drama.
 
Insanity inhabits an unclear mind, 
That cycles the same without any change.
With clarity and love we choose to get off,
The ride that became so painful. 
Let there be consciousness.
Let there be understanding.
Let there be Love and light.
 
From now on, 
When I perceive “crazy”,
I will wonder where fear is?
I will stop and survey the scene. 
I will look inside me and ask about her
And will not allow fear to set up residence here. 
 
When she is sad or afraid, 
When feelings stir deep,
I will be curious (and not asleep!)
About the emotional world 
Alive in her body.
 
I will learn to understand the music 
That moves through her, 
In order to meet her halfway,
Until we connect 
And learn to resonate 
And play our duet.
This is peace, love, and sanity for me. 

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
National Museum, New Delhi, India. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
letter to my lover
Expressing in letter form, desires about creating sexual and emotional connection in relationship and navigating boundaries with pornography use.
​

Dear Lover, 

I deeply value and appreciate your sharing with me your attention, time, energy, love and care.  They are incredibly powerful and I cherish them. Time and attention are limited and love is limitless and how we each choose to focus them is important and impactful to you, me and us. Things between us feel best for me when I feel connected with you. 
 
I am grateful for the sexual connection we share. I would also like to convey to you some of my feelings and thoughts about sexuality, eroticism, and sensuality in personal, interpersonal, and universal domains. It is important to me that together, you and I create a safe place to share and feel accepted in our uniqueness and differences, without it feeling threatening. I want to be sure not to judge, shame, or put you down in any way regarding our differences. Please let me know if you feel this happening.
 
According to Tantric philosophy, sexual energy is the highest form of energy in the world. It is incredibly powerful energy and how it is expressed matters; it can heal but it can also harm. In all of my sexual experiences with you I have felt these energies in the most deliciously amazing and positive ways. My body celebrates when you touch me- there is an abundance of joy, pleasure, love and a desire to be open and generous in giving and receiving all these positive energies with you. 
 
I feel like I want to protect the sacredness of what I experience with you.  I am also noticing that you and I both have many differences regarding past experiences in relationships and uses of external sources of sexual material. I am inviting both of us to reevaluate and possibly let go of some past sexual scripts, choices, behavior or thinking so we can co-create what is authentic, true, real, and beautiful for our relationship and connection management. Let's clear this sexual space between us so we can discover what arises for us; what we each uniquely have to share and show and explore together that comes from the deepest place of our soulful being, so that behaviors, habits, preferences or problems from past experiences or partners don't interfere with what's happening between us now. 
 
The prevalence of internet pornography use is high.  I imagine that since you’ve shared with me your history of viewing online porn, that it may have been part of your private sexual space to experience your erotic feelings, desires, stimulation, fun, imagination, expression of energy, and orgasmic bliss. I wonder if it’s significance for you has less to do with the people in the scenes or roles of characters in the stories, than it has to do with the evocation of experiences within yourself, your body, mind, and erotic energy. My guess is that porn has been a part of a means or a conduit for you to experience your sexuality. 
 
Please correct any of my interpretations, understandings, or meaning making I have attempted to convey that don’t fit for you. I don't want to project anything on you that is not true for you, I deeply desire to understand you and rely on your help to do so.  I am seeking to understand you in deeper ways and I, in turn, need that as well.
 
I am also seeking to let go of things that do not serve me any longer and am open to renewal and the intention of letting things be new. I want to be clear that I am open to and accepting to all of you. I want to be clear in that I want you to continue to have all those positive feelings. I want you to experience sexual ecstasy, playfulness, adventure, creativity, and I want you to experience an abundance of erotic energy.  I also want for you to feel safe, cared for, understood, known and deeply loved.
 
I'd like to propose an experiment for us. Given the unknown origin of much of the sexual material online, I am asking that we each reflect on this question in formulating guiding principles for choosing material or inspiration for erotic stimulation: “Can I be fairly certain that there wasn’t anybody harmed (ie: some kind of vulnerability exploited that contributed to the circumstances of a person ending up in the sex industry or material that was posted without consent, etc.) during any process of the creation or sharing of the content in order to entertain others?"  
 
Where and how energy is sourced is important to me and I do not want to be a part of a sexual experience that was fueled by or made possible in any way as a result from another person’s suffering. So, another way to phrase this question is, "was there anybody harmed, used, manipulated, or exploited so another could reach a level of arousal within body and mind for an orgasm?" I acknowledge that it may be impossible to know the details about, or trauma history of, every naked person online, but it doesn’t negate the negative impact of people being exploited. These people you say are merely pixelated images ARE REAL and they matter to me. Their bodies, their emotions, their experiences, and their lives all matter to me.
 
In addition to my beliefs about living in ways that do not contribute to harming others, I am also concerned that a dependency on pornography, in an attempt to express and celebrate sexuality and erotic energy, may instead in some way contribute to feelings of disconnection between us. 
 
What I am proposing for us requires making different choices and letting go of some of what we have experienced, known, and believed.  I worry that if you continue your past habits of consuming porn, that it will become a barrier to connecting with me. I want that all future orgasms can be celebrated with pleasure, joy and ecstasy knowing that no actual people were harmed for the creation of erotic sexual energy. I want our erotic energy to be inspired by a playfulness informed by love.  
 
I want that we can move forward together with clear and positive sexual karma and without unnecessary burdens.  I love you so deeply. I am asking for your help in protecting the beauty of what we are creating together. 
 
Love, 
An Aspiring Awakened Aphrodite/Adonis

​
Picture
Adonis Baths, Paphos, Cyprus. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
diamonds
 Poem about identifying one’s inner light and sexual illumination that is cared for by tantric meditation, respect-based sexuality and communicating boundaries in a relationship that honors and protects a shared sexual space.
​

I gave you diamonds
I mined them from  
Places deep inside 
 
I saw that you tossed 
Them across the sand 
On beaches- World Wide 
 
Seeing this, makes me
Wonder how special 
To you they could be?
 
I want to search the sand
To recover them back 
Because they mean 
Something sacred to me
 
These diamonds are reflections of my
Illuminated sacred sexuality
And the beaches are full of pixelated
Specks from streams of pornography
 
The precious light of my diamonds
Gets lost there among 
All the cold and stony sand
 
So, I search them out 
And I pick them up
Tenderly with my hand
 
To make sure they have 
A loving place to land
As I bring them back 
Home with me
 
As I convey this to you-
You seem quite surprised 
That I would interpret 
Something that you do
As hurtful to me 
So, again, I feel eschewed 
 
You say it’s not personal-
It’s a habit you’ve had
And in it, you mean no harm
And nothing that is bad
 
Taking in your response
I feel even more lonely…
And not understood…
 
I’m wishing you would show me
How much you respect me
And cherish our sex only 
 
I ask for your hands
And gaze deep in your eyes
As I courageously open myself up
Again- to share from my deepest insides
 
“I feel you’re not quite understanding
This gift that I’m giving”
I say, as I reach out for you
“What we are sharing is Divine
And how you are behaving
Is showing me I am casting 
My pearls before swine”
 
I see emotion flicker 
From deep in your eyes 
As you allow yourself to finally see
And resonate with me
 
Your heart is now hurting too
As we are open and flowing
In our empathic dance of two
 
Now, we allow… 
Our mutual understanding 
To inform our shared meaning 
About how to care for this 
Sacred sexual space
We together are creating 
 
We discover the irony about
Chasing those fantasy mirages
Among foreign beaches is not
Where true treasure is found
 
You see, 
The light from these diamonds
Found deeply inside me
Are not such a tangible thing
 
It’s not something to chase
Seek to possess, or something
Someone else can really ever take
 
This is a reflection of our light 
That we all have in common
We must practice sex with respect
Or there will be so much here at stake
 
I see in your eyes now
That you are open to this truth
And to this deep and wise understanding
 
How lucky are we
To live this freely
Here together 
In this light-filled universe 
 
Between us together
We learn we don’t have to travel far 
To be bathed in this beautiful energy 
Of the sun, the moon and the stars

~Gretchen Blycker
Picture
Rock of Aphrodite, Paphos, Cyprus. Photo by Marc Potenza
empathy is the bridge
 Poem about creating freedom from problematic effects of limiting scripted gender roles and awakening empathy.
My heart finally feels the hurt of
Another’s pain and fear
Although, I am aware 
That there were times
That it appeared I didn’t care
 
It takes much work and effort
To understand another’s role
When I’m consistently assigned 
The same part to play
It makes it difficult 
To see things a different way
 
The writers of these scripts
Continue to reinforce 
Engendered limitations
Of what is possible to bring forth
 
What we then feel entrapped by is 
A chasm of great divide;
Of us vs. them, of me vs. you
And on and on it goes… 
Until our lives are through…
 
It seems impossible to reach 
A shared perspective or 
Mutual understanding
When we would figuratively 
Have to walk on air 
In order to get ourselves over there
 
This is how our cultural scripts 
Perpetuate our gender wars
By putting us on opposite teams
And pushing us to the  
Masculine/feminine extremes
 
We get messages and lists of
Expectations and behaviors
And are told to keep ourselves
In check, and to never ever waiver
 
Or show our authentic feelings about
How we each are affected
By wearing these masks 
That come with many rigid tasks
 
When I remove my mask 
And shed the scripted role
I build a bridge to you
And travel step by step
To bring myself to get 
A better sense of you
Through a more inclusive 
Illuminated, and holistic view 
 
When I am open to feeling
The embodied effects of 
All my emotions
I learn to imagine 
Those same sensations 
Happening inside of you
 
I imagine I am you and you are me 
And I search within my whole 
And complete emotional inventory
 
In seeking to understand you,
I put myself in your place 
And I try things on until you tell me that 
I found the same feeling that 
Is the right fitting for the emotion
I see expressed through your face
 
Here we resonate and discover 
Emotional language 
To translate our personal 
Experiences across a perceived 
Divide that transforms into a 
Felt sense of a shared inside
Of tenderness, empathy and 
Connecting care
 
We all benefit by this skill building
Of awakening our empathy
And opening so a higher wisdom
Can shine through
As this truth and knowing that
Empathy is the bridge 
And the gateway to loving
Understanding and connecting

~Gretchen Blycker

​
Picture
Tongji Bridge (bridge within a bridge), ancient water town of Wuzhen, China. Photo by Marc Potenza
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Picture
Tongji Bridge, Wuzhen, China. Photo by Gretchen Blycker
Picture
Tongji Bridge, Wuzhen, China. Photo by Gretchen Blycker

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